Jet Packs Are The Past And The Future Of The Super Bowl Halftime Show

For those of us who don’t speak fluent football, the Super Bowl can feel less like a thrilling sports event and more like an endurance test. It’s a three-hour game stretched into an all-day affair, packed with confusing penalties, inexplicable stoppages, and commercials that seem more important than the actual sport. But if there’s one thing that has consistently delivered a spectacle we can all enjoy, it’s the halftime show. And nothing—not pop megastars, not surprise guest appearances, not even Left Shark—has quite captured the imagination like the glorious, gravity-defying jetpack performances of Super Bowls past.

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The 1967 Jetpack Pioneers: Flying Over Football

Super Bowl I in 1967 gave us the kind of halftime show that feels like a fever dream. Forget the laser-filled productions of today—back then, organizers figured that the best way to keep audiences entertained was to strap men to rocket belts and launch them into the sky. Two pilots, each representing one of the rival leagues (the AFL and NFL), zoomed around 50 to 60 feet above the field before making a grand landing at midfield. There, like two intergalactic diplomats, they shook hands in a dramatic symbol of unity between the leagues. If that sounds bizarre, it’s because it was. This was the Space Age, and apparently, nothing said “football” like barely controlled human flight.

The 1985 Jetpack Revival: More Ridiculous, Less Revolutionary

Nearly two decades later, in 1985, the Super Bowl decided it was time to revisit the magic of jetpacks. But instead of capturing the wonder of space-age dreams, this version came across more like a live-action cartoon. The technology hadn’t advanced much—still just a guy zipping through the air with all the grace of a hummingbird on caffeine. And by then, the novelty had worn off. Audiences, used to Star Wars and moon landings, were no longer as impressed by a dude hovering shakily over a football field before making a less-than-dignified landing. Business Insider even ranked this spectacle among the worst halftime shows of all time, which is saying something in a world where ‘Up With People’ once performed multiple years in a row.

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Bring Back the Jetpacks! (But Maybe Improve Them First)

Looking back, it’s hard not to feel a pang of nostalgia for the Super Bowl’s jetpack era. In a game where strategy can feel impenetrable and the second half can drag, what better way to keep us engaged than by dangling the possibility of human flight? Sure, jetpacks never really became the future we were promised, but maybe that’s exactly why they deserve a comeback. Modern technology has improved—hoverboards, drones, and Elon Musk’s questionable ambitions prove that people are still chasing the dream of personal flight. So why not embrace the chaos and give us what we really want? A Super Bowl halftime show that lets someone literally fly out of the stadium, soaring away from the game like a confused viewer who just realized they’ve been watching for four hours.

The NFL might insist that ‘Football is Family,’ but let’s be honest—some of us are just here for the jetpacks.