A Fan’s Guide to Ballpark Etiquette

I'm extremely tired this morning because I decided it would be fun to take a trip to Houston with friends and watch the first game of the season between the Astros and Rangers. Well, lets just say it was an experience that opened my eyes to how baseball can easily be tainted by douchebags.

Okay, the Rangers lost but that wasn't the part that had me annoyed. Between the drunken mess behind me and the dude who won't sit down I left already on edge OH did I forget to mention the friend who some how gets lost in Minute Maid Park!?

I'm no baseball goddess but some people just need a friendly reminder on how to not come off as a total tool. Here is your fans guide to ballpark etiquette.

1. Hide the Sign Until it's Time- If you have a huge sign please stop holding it in my view and at least put something clever or witty. Just writing "you suck" or "hi mom" is not ballpark sign worthy!

2. Know When to Sit- I'm not saying don't jump up or stand when bases are loaded bottom of the ninth and 2 outs. I'm saying there is NO reason why you should have your butt right in my face the whole time! I can't even see the first pitch of the inning! Why don't you sit like EVERYONE else around you? Like this guy! Sure maybe right now he is sitting but he was an infamous STANDER. Don't let the rangers attire disguise his rudeness!

3. Don't Get Drunk- This is a really hard one for me because I enjoy having a nice brewski at the ballpark but when you get up to go to the bathroom and the people around you start to cheer this my fellow fan, is your sign to shut up.

4. NEVER NEVER Talk Politics- How does this even happen? We are at a game and you want to talk about the leading no-no topic of all discussions with strangers? Hard to believe this actually happened last night but it did! Not only did he talk about politics but he began to move on to the topic of Easter. This was the man directly behind me. In his defense he was a little tipsy and an Astros fan.

Just a few more for thought, try to limit the need to get up to use the restroom or get food so much, don't confuse my coke for your dip/spit cup, and please where deodorant these are extremely close quarters and American aren't used to invaded space.