Burrito Blanket is Perfect for Cat Ladies
Yes, a burrito blanket. What The Hell? Why would you want to dress up as food in this batsh** crazy world?
"In case you might be thinking about eating me, here's a little blanky to help you over your indecision."
You know damn well someone will be found folded up in this thing and shoved in a culvert.
The only person who should be buying this are Cat Ladies. You know, the kind of wack-a-dos who sit home, never going outside, except to "rescue" another cat. They die alone in their house and no one notices until a Girl Scout comes around selling cookies and passes out on the porch because of the stench of decaying body and cat smell that's oozing through the poorly insulated home. The cops break down the door, then instantly vomit because of the smell. Cats scatter out the door like a fluffy flood. Half the lady is gone because the cats got hungry waiting for the Girl Scout to come around.
Now if that lady was wrapped in a burrito blanket, then yes, that's a good idea. Funny and fitting.
Amazon has it for $10.99. More disturbingly, they have it wrapped around a child. Creeps.