Ryan Anderson is a humorist and writer with a degree in journalism and philosophy that just sits in a box in his attic. You can read more of his musings here: http://www.twitter.com/kolchak
Ryan Anderson
It’s a Girl for Kim Kardashian + Kanye West
Get ready to welcome Khristetta into the world, because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are officially expecting a daughter this July.
Today in Amanda Bynes: Nose Jobs and Gay Slurs and Slapfights, Oh My
Amanda Bynes continued her long, snowballing descent into the comfortable walls of a padded cell this weekend, talking about plastic surgeries and picking all sorts of fights.
Justin Bieber Once Again Accused of Being Someone’s Baby Daddy
Remember when Mariah Yeater claimed she was impregnated by Justin Bieber during a magical backstage tryst before she was proven a trashy little gold digger and faded into obscurity?
Get ready for that to happen again.
Amanda Bynes Was Not Groped by the NYPD, Says the NYPD
At this point, Amanda Bynes' life is like one of those old, wooden roller coasters you don't want to stand up on for fear of being decapitated. She's rapping, she's been groped, she's wig-shopping. In short, she's a super busy girl.
Now the NYPD is trying to make her a life a little simpler by scuttling one of the many lawsuits she's threatening to file -- because according to them, she wasn't sex
Justin Bieber Still Drives Like a Jerk
Police are once again investigating Justin Bieber for alleged incidents of reckless driving in his gated community, even though it's a proven fact that's how serious artists drive. (Ask Billy Joel.)
Robert Pattinson + Katy Perry Spied Together at a Wedding Rehearsal … For People They Don’t Know
Now that Robsten has broken up, each respective member is handling it in their own way. And while Kristen Stewart is possibly having her life force slowly drained by Taylor Swift, Robert Pattinson is hanging out with good friend Katy Perry -- and stealing all the thunder from the wedding of a random couple.
Joe Francis Says ‘Retarded’ Jury Who Convicted Him of Assault ‘Should Be Euthanized’
We last heard from known douchenozzle and 'Girls Gone Wild' creator Joe Francis, he was being convicted of assault and false imprisonment after trying to keep three women in his house and slamming one girl's head into a tile floor multiple times like a gentleman.
Now he's mouthing off about the jury who convicted him -- and in the process, making it abundantly clear they did the right thing.
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Kanye West Celebrates New Album ‘Yeezus’ by Broadcasting NSFW Video onto Public Buildings
To debut his track 'New Slaves,' Kanye West projected his large, disembodied head onto the side of 66 buildings around the world on Friday, May 17, like a ginormous Wizard of Oz who uses the "n" word a lot.
Kanye West Rants He’s the ‘Worst Kind Of Celebrity’ + Very Serious About It [NSFW VIDEO]
Kanye West has things to say. And because he's a tortured artist, he can't do it in a press release or interview. He won't be restrained by the man.
So instead, he yells auto-tuned things to his audiences between songs at concerts.
Lindsay Lohan Plotting an Escape After Betty Ford Cuts Off Her Adderall
After bouncing around from treatment center to treatment center, Lindsay Lohan finally settled on the apparent utopia of the Betty Ford clinic, where she could chain-smoke during her 90-day stay and take uppers on the reg.
But now Nurse Ratched (or the clinic's docs) have decided to strip Linds of the one thing that allows her to kinda sorta keep it together -- Adderall -- sending her into fight-o