Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen is allegedly not looking after his children without their mom Brooke Mueller in the picture.

These stars have been responsible for, or accused of committing, various crimes.

Newly-minted porn star Farrah Abraham had a real shot at becoming Charlie Sheen's new goddess -- right up until she leaked their text messages. That prompted an enraged response from Sheen. But hey, no big. Farrah, 22, says she'd never date him anyway ... because he's super old.

As we reported yesterday, Farrah Abraham and Charlie Sheen have been texting, and she proudly showed TMZ proof of such. But Charlie was none too pleased about her revelation, and he's now penned an acidic missive to the teen mom that seeks to put her back in her place. Wherever that may be.

Charlie Sheen collects porn star girlfriends (whom he's often dubbed his "goddesses") like Leonardo DiCaprio collects supermodels, so it should come as no surprise that the 'Backdoor Teen Mom' herself, Farrah Abraham, received a call from everyone's favorite warlock.

It's only been two days since Charlie Sheen urged his legion of Twitter followers to throw dog poo at his 9-year-old daughter's school. Since then, it's been revealed that she hasn't even attended the school since May of last year. But Sheen's tiger blood is still boiling.