I want to be fully transparent with you before we dive into this: I'm not a fan of Funyuns.

I don't exactly hate them, but they're nowhere near my list of top ten snacks. Maybe it's because I have a major sweet tooth and prefer sugary snacks. (Chocolate is my weakness.) Maybe it's because they don't really taste like anything to me.

It's one of life's great mysteries.

Anyway, Tuesday, July 21 is National Junk Food Day, and the folks at job resource site Zippia.com pored over Google Trends data to create a map they say shows which states are the most avid fans of various snacks. (They excluded gum and soda, which I agree aren't really snacks.)

Given that Texas' favorite Halloween candy is usually Reese's peanut butter cups, that's what I expected to see in our patch of the map. Or, if it was going to be chips, I thought it'd be tortilla chips (+salsa), Fritos (+jalapeno bean dip) or Flamin' Hot Cheetos (+911 on speed dial). Imagine my shock when I saw the word Funyuns hovering over the Lone Star State.

It immediately reminded me of something that happened back in high school.

One day, my friends and I were sitting around the lunch table ignoring the nutritious food we'd been served by the cafeteria staff and sampling the haul we'd taken from the vending machine. (This was 2002 or 2003, so vending machine snacks hadn't yet been banned from campus.)

I can't remember who bought the bag of Funyuns, but my friend Matt hadn't tried them before. He took one bite, scrunched up his face, and said, "These are so bland. They should call 'em Responsibilityuns."

A sensible chuckle was had by all.


via GIPHY


It's interesting to note that the map is titled Workers' Favorite Junk Foods. That means these are snacks the Google data indicates people are eating on the job. There are days when any snack is a welcome escape from the daily grind, even Responsibilityuns.

Since it's based on Google data, I'm going to assume that means people are searching funyuns on their work computers. I imagine it's mostly the following:

  • Who eats funyuns?
  • Who keeps putting funyuns in the vending machine?
  • Why do funyuns exist?
  • How can I put as much space between me and funyuns as possible?
  • Is nuking funyuns from orbit the only way to be sure?

Ok, now I'm not just being mean. I'm sure there are plenty of fine, upstanding people who love munching on some Funyuns at their desk or in the break room. I love you. I really do. But you're terrible. Stay away from me with that Funyun breath.


 


 

What do you think? Did they get it right, or is Google tangled up in some sort of junk food cabal hellbent on making us think Funyuns are even remotely fun?

What's your favorite thing to snack on at work?

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